Today is Saturday and I have had a hard week. It has been a month since I had laparoscopic surgery to remove my endometriosis (stage 2) and I also had an adenomatoid tumor removed. Don’t worry this is a benign tumor but it is really rare. The chances of it coming back are not common so that is good news.
Life following endometriosis surgery
I feel good and my incisions are healing well. I have some pain near my belly button when my clothes rub on the incision so I just have to watch what I wear. Also, I like being really active by cleaning the house, walking the dog, walking but at some point I need to realize that I am doing too much. Having laparoscopic is major surgery and the body needs time to heal. I need to keep this in mind and take more breaks and focus on taking care of myself.
I can’t explain how I feel. I can tell you some symptoms that I had that have disappeared and I feel they were associated with endometriosis:
I had this hungry feeling all the time
My belly would growl and I always had to eat. I could rarely miss a meal or I would feel this horrible feeling in my stomach/pelvic area. It is weird I know but it was a noticeable different following surgery. I don’t feel this way and now I have to remind myself to eat.
My first period following surgery sucked and was super heavy
However, I did not have the horrible cramps where you feel like you are going to die. I am hoping my period gets lighter but thankful I no longer have that labor type pain.
I had less back pain!
Yes. I would get pain so bad that I could not stand for a long period of time. I would say any longer than 15 minutes and my body was throbbing in pain. I would also get pelvic discomfort too.
I have not had any stabbing stomach pain or pain during bowel movements
This is huge. I would randomly get stabbing pain at any time during the day from the minute I woke up to wake me up at night. Again this would feel like horrible labor pains and definitely not fun.
Right now those are the most noticeable changes. I am sure over time I will think of other things that I just cannot associate with the endo removal.
I did ask the doctor if the endo was the reason why I was not pregnant and the response was yes. Now that I have that hope, expectations are super high. We have been married for five years. In the beginning, we tried and over time we just gave it to God. But after five years you know something is not right and more than anything I would like to have another child. Even if it does not happen I am so grateful for the son I have and being a mom is the best title.
I am writing about this because a lot of women go through this and I know I am not alone. However, it is hard and I do feel alone because I have no one to talk about my struggles with. I feel sad knowing I have no friends that understand.
Words that hurt
We recently had our annual pool party and a friend of my husband that has two kids was talking about having another one. However, I love it when women say oh we want another one but we are not going to start trying until March of next year. This way the baby will be born around the holidays. Really? I have had this happen a couple of times and I don’t think women understand those who are struggling really don’t want to hear when that you can plan your pregnancy. I am happy that they do not have to struggle but it is just not a conversation that I want to be a part of.
The emotional part is the hardest while you allow your body to heal following surgery. I know I am expecting miracles the first month but realistically my body went through major surgery and it may take 2, 3, or even 4 months to heal. Maybe longer and that has to be okay.
Here are some things that have helped provide me with physical and emotional support:
Stories from the bible really give me hope
Because in the end, it is not going to be my doctor that gave me a baby, yes the doctor played a part but God is the one who chose us to be parents. Here is a selection of books that you can read to give you hope.
Yes – this is a way to get rid of depression and anxiety that you may be feeling about trying to conceive. Get some weights, stepper and find a good YouTube exercise video. Get moving!
A good therapist!
Since I have no friends that can relate to my situation, I found a therapist. I really think it is amazing how God works. I was very picky looking for a therapist because I had one that was not a good fit. I called a couple of offices and a lady called me back. Her voice was warm and welcoming so I thought I would give it a try. She had no idea I was going through natural family planning to have another baby. Eventually, I brought this up and the similarities we shared are crazy. She had been on a tougher journey and she could relate to the emotions I was feeling. It just goes to show that God is leading the way, you just have to look for the signs.
Focus on eating healthy
This one is hard for me because I am an emotional eater. Try and stay the course to help your body prepare for pregnancy. Here are some cookbooks focused on eating healthy for endometriosis.
Essential oils to help relax
I love essential oils and they really do help. Here are some ones that I recommend.
Fertility support groups
I recommend looking for an expert fertility specialist. That is the team I have and the same doctor removed my endo. The team offers support groups and if you need emotional support I recommend finding a support group.
Get plenty of sleep
Sleep is super important regardless if you are trying to have a baby or not. According to sleep.org, women who had less than seven hours of sleep were fifteen percent less likely to conceive than women who had seven to eight. So make sure you are getting eight hours a night.
I was really stressed and had to find another job. I was having panic attacks, my health was declining, headaches every day, and miserable. Of course, God and my body were not going to let me get pregnant. I changed my situation and got a new job. I suggest if you are in the same position, look for a change that will help you reduce stress.
Have fun and laugh
They don’t say laughter is the best medicine for nothing! Watch a good comedy show, incorporate game night, and just have some fun!
Find a hobby you love
I enjoy photography and writing for the blog. These are ways I reduce stress, laugh, and take my mind away from the emotional side of trying to conceive.
I would love to hear how you are dealing with your fertility struggles. We need to support each other!
This is in no way to be taken as medical advice, but information to be discussed with your doctor and see if they would be right for your specific situation. Always seek medical advice before trying something new for your pre-pregnancy health.